Moving to New Jersey has been really hard for me. For some reason I can't get over the fact that this is our new home. You know when you are on vacation and you are having a good time but you just want to be home and with people you know. I wake up every morning thinking "When am I going home?" I don't quite feel like New Jersey is my home even though all our stuff is here and unpacked. Luckily my dad has his golf tournament next month and I get to fly home and spend time with family and people I know. It's probably going to make things worse because I won't want to come back. Also Aaron's sister Linds is coming for the US Open and we get to spend the day in NYC watching tennis together. Then Deanne is coming in October to visit. So I have decided to look to the future and overcome the hurdles of home sickness (even though it may be hard).
I cry a little most days (some days are worse than others) but I get it all out and move on. This morning and yesterday I woke up and for some reason I couldn't stop crying. I just got a new job working as an office assistant at an Allstate office. I'm not 100% in love with the job (or NJ yet) but its money we don't have an time I have to work (to keep me busy and from not sitting around crying). I cried in the shower, cried drying my hair, cried while I ate breakfast, and cried trying to put makeup on. I took a deep breath and headed to work. I had 1 mile to suck it up and act like everything was okay. Once I got busy at work I was fine. The rest of the day was fine but I just have these wave of emotions come over me at random times. Aaron looks at me life I'm crazy and says everything is going to be fine. I always text my mom and say "its happening again" and she gives me a few lines of encouragement via text.
I am sure this will pass but right now I feel like it's never going to end.
Aaron, Kristin & Brooklynn
Monday, August 20, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
New York City
Last Saturday Aaron and I decided to head to NYC before he started school and to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. We headed out from our apartment in Edison down the street to the train station (took us about 15 min to walk). It was my first time on a train (and even my first time to the city) so it was pretty exciting. We arrived at Madison Square Garden at NY Penn Station.
We headed out of the train station and I wanted to see Madison Square Garden where the NY Rangers play but it is under renovation so they won't let anyone take tours so a picture in front will have to do.
I have always wanted to see Time Square so we headed up the street to 42nd where it starts. Boy were we there at the wrong time. Pictures first and then I will explain.
A bazillion people in the square- I couldn't believe it.
So remember when I said we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. See above picture. Its not too good but there are cops and cop cars racing down 7th avenue after a man with a knife. Here is the story: We got to the corner of 7th and 42nd (the start of Time Square) and I am just looking around amazed at everything. I look in the middle of the road and there is a cop van with a cop hanging out the side with his gun up. I then feel Aaron grab my arm and he takes off running (and all the people around us too). I look back and there is a guy with a 12 inch butcher knife dancing/hopping and yelling down the street. I then see about 10-15 cops with their guns pulled pointed at the man. This is where it gets scary. The cops are in a half moon around the man (whom we are about 20 feet away from). The cop on the far side who is looking right at us has his gun pulled and its in our direction. If he were to shoot and miss it would have come right at us. At that point everyone is still running around trying to take cover. We realizes we are running in the direction the guy is going so we reverse and duck into a cafe (along with other people). The people and workers in the cafe were so confused at why everyone was running in. People start to explain what is going on and while I am sitting on the side starting to cry. We later learned that the cops tried to pepper spray him 6 times and he wouldn't stop. He lunged at the cops and they shot and killed him. Remember we were on 42nd- he was shot and killed on 38th. I am so glad that I didn't hear the gun shots because I would have gone home then. Can I just remind you that this is my first time in the city and we had been there a total of 20 minutes. GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION NEW YORK. Aaron calms me down and we decide to head uptown in the opposite direction of the deranged man.
We headed up to Ed Sullivan theatre so that I could see where David Letterman is shot. Kinda sad they don't do tours but oh well.
We then headed to the Radio City Music hall and stopped and took a picture with Lady Liberty ($3 for a picture- they really do charge for everything out here).
We saw this lovely gem while heading down the street. I actually saw 2 other men dressed in women clothing but was too close to take a picture.
We were right by Rockefeller Plaza so we swung by there to see where they put the Christmas tree (see above picture). It's also cool to see where they put the ice rink in the winter (the one that you always see on TV and in the movies). I want to go back to NYC in the winter (without knifes and strange men) and see the tree and go ice skating.
Side Note: This is the cafe that saved our lifes. I thank you europa cafe for being built.
We headed to the subway (first time on a subway too- not bad but really hot and kinda gross). We wanted to see the new building at ground zero and also see the memorial fountain that was built. We didn't know if we needed tickets or not but just took the trip anyways. We got there and found out you needed to make a reservation to see it (even though its free) and all the reservations were gone for the day. Sometime when we go back we will plan it so that we can see the fountain. We walked around the corner and saw the above building being built. They are huge and very beautiful. We also stopped by the memorial shop and saw pictures and video from 9/11. I walked around and looked at the pictures of the tragedy that happened and it made me tear up. It was crazy for me to be right next to where it happened.
All in all our trip was great, minus the crazy man and guns pointed in our direction. When we headed home I called my mom and told her the story (and she handled it pretty well). We then called Aaron's sister Lindsey and told her because she has been to NYC many time. She said nothing like that has ever happened to her- she said it was just something special for me. She is coming out here in a couple weeks to visit so hopefully when we go back all will be good.
I am grateful that we were kept safe while traveling and that Aaron had the quick reaction to get us out of harms way. Until next time New York.
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| we had to get a picture of this.. |
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We then headed to the Radio City Music hall and stopped and took a picture with Lady Liberty ($3 for a picture- they really do charge for everything out here).
We didn't go up to the observation deck but it's still cool to see the outside.
We saw this lovely gem while heading down the street. I actually saw 2 other men dressed in women clothing but was too close to take a picture.
All in all our trip was great, minus the crazy man and guns pointed in our direction. When we headed home I called my mom and told her the story (and she handled it pretty well). We then called Aaron's sister Lindsey and told her because she has been to NYC many time. She said nothing like that has ever happened to her- she said it was just something special for me. She is coming out here in a couple weeks to visit so hopefully when we go back all will be good.
I am grateful that we were kept safe while traveling and that Aaron had the quick reaction to get us out of harms way. Until next time New York.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Our Newest Adventure
We moved here about a week ago and the culture is something else. I have never lived on the east coast and am very used to my west coast friendliness and southern hospitality. Everyone here is always in a hurry and kinda gives you the cold shoulder. You have to earn their trust before they will open up and talk to you.
My parents (thank goodness for them) helped us drive up here with our Penske truck (with Aaron's car on the back) and my car. It took 2 days (because the truck went pretty slow) but we had a fun adventure. We arrived to an apartment we had never stepped foot in and were thoroughly surprised. Its 1280 sq feet but like most east coast apartments is very expensive. We didn't have an opportunity to travel to come look for places so we figure we scored. I was a bit overwhelmed when we arrived by my parents and Aaron made me feel better about everything. We unloaded the boxes from the truck and then had 3 guys from our new ward help with the furniture (oh we live on the 3rd floor so that was a workout for them). We all worked for the next 2 days to get everything setup before my parents flew out. My mom took me grocery shopping and shopping for the little things we needed in the apartment. Thanks to my parents for all their help and not just leaving me high and dry. They worked their butts off.
So my parents left and I got my first ride on the New Jersey Turnpike. I can't believe how expensive it is just to drive here and how many people there are. We dropped them off at the Newark airport (which isn't too far) and that was pretty hard. I cried for a little bit but figured I would see them soon. I saw New York City from the Turnpike which was pretty cool too.
In our first week we had a lot of firsts.
1. Our first jug handle. In NJ at major intersections they don't allow you to turn left (its a safety thing). So, you veer to the right and loop around and go straight (which takes you to the spot where you would have turned left). Its weird at first and not all intersections have it so you have to pay attention. I am just glad the GPS recognizes it.
2. Someone else pumped our gas. In NJ and OR are the 2 states that pump your gas for you. Its all because of unions and other stuff. Its weird to hand your card to someone else and have them do it. People out here say that they don't even know how to do it themselves if they had to.
3. We got our first "welcome to Jersey shout." The guy that pumped our gas noticed we had UT plates and asked what we were doing out here. He finished pumping our gas and yelled, "WELCOME TO JERSEY- ENJOY!"
4. Toll roads. I have never lived in a state where you had to pay to go on the roads. The garden state parkway is pretty cheap, only $1.50 but the Turnpike can get expensive. When we took my parents it was about 9 bucks roundtrip.
5. The jersey shore. Aaron and I met someone from his program while at the parking and ID office. Kittrick and his wife Jess from Washington State had gotten married 2 weeks prior and drove 5 days to get out here. They were heading to the jersey shore on Wed and invited us a long so we said why not. We got there and were very surprised when we had to PAY $7 per person and $7 per vehicle. YOU HAVE TO PAY TO GO TO THE BEACH! Don't get me wrong- they are nice beaches and have lifeguards, but still. We sat on the beach for about 3 hours and talked. It was good to get to know them and talk about past experiences that led them here. We also got really burned. It was only about 80 out and the humidity was pretty low (even though Jess was burning up- but she is from Washington). I got home and my face, chest and arms were bright red. It went away the next day but hurt that first night.
I am sure we will have many more firsts including heading to New York City this weekend to celebrate an early anniversary before Aaron starts school. I have never been to the city, ridden a train, or a subway. I will be sure to post pictures of it all. All in all things have been mostly good. I have had my days where all I want to do is cry but I am told by other wives that have moved here that they had their bad days too. They told Aaron to give me about 3 months and I should be good. They all love it here so I am hoping to adjust to the life out here.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Brain Surgery
Man has it been a long tim since I have been on this. This past year has been a crazy one but I had the time of my life. After graduation (my last post) Aaron and I moved to Franklin, TN (where I am from). My dad, as many of you know, has Parkinson's Disease and was going to undergo brain surgery for deep brain stimulation. We decided that since we had a year before Aaron started school, which no one knew at the time, we would move there and help with his recovery. So we packed up our little apartment and made the trek down south. We decided to live with my parents to help save money for when Aaron potentially got into school and also to help with the care of my dad. A month or so after we moved there I started to work for the hockey team, the Nashville Predators, and Aaron went on an interview to 5 school (pretty much all on the east coast) and 1 was in New Jersey. The day after I started with the team he got a phone call from UMDNJ (Rutgers) saying that he was accepted into the program and it started the next August. I was like HOLY CRAP- this is really happening. We didn't tell anyone for MONTHS that he got into school fearing it would look bad at both of our jobs. In about February or March we started to tell people that we would be leaving.
The 2 months of surgery and months of recovery were really hard on our family and especially my dad. While I describe these surgeries keep in mind that these all used to be done in 1 day but are now done over 4 weeks. Also keep in mind that 3 news crews were following my dad and family around documenting each surgery to raise awareness to others.
He has his first surgery on November 29th. They drilled 4 holes into his head and placed markers in there. This was a prep for the surgery that was to come a week later, the major and most difficult surgery. The next surgery was December 6th- a really tough day. My dad didn't get much sleep the night before because he had to go off his medication. He was in pain and his hands were very rigid. That morning was pretty tough watching my dad try to get ready for the hospital. He couldn't even sit comfortable. My mom and I helped his dress because he wasn't even able to pull a shoe on. We got to the hospital around 7 am and news crew lights were bright. He had given news crews full access to this process but on this day the hospital wanted to respect his privacy so they wouldn't allow them past a certain point to film. We got him checked in and about an hour later they took him back. Then it was a waiting game. We had about 5-6 hours to kill so I headed to the arena to catch up on a couple things (there was a game that night and my accounts were very needy) and then headed back to the hospital. Everyone in the office was shocked to see me there but I would have rather been busy then just sitting and worrying. When I got back to the hospital more people had shown up. Valerie Overmyer, Sissy and Suzanne Weiss, and another lady whom I can't remember her name (her husband had died from Parkinson's. They sat there with us till the doctors came out to give us the okay. Vanderbilt was also great with us. They set us up in this Atrium on the floor my dad would be staying on. It was very peaceful and away from everyone else. Doc Davis, my dads neurologist, came in prob 5 hours after he went in and said everything went great. The thing with this surgery was he had to be awake the whole time to be sure the were in the right spot. He had to talk to them and they videotaped the whole thing. Doc and the nurses said he was a star patient. He was cracking jokes in the operating room and even throwing a ball with Doc. He, my mom and I stayed in the Neurology ICU that night. My mom was emotionally and physically exhausted so I am glad I stayed because my dad in no way wanted nurses to help him. In the middle of the night I woke up to him trying to get out of bed with all these wires still attached to him (mom slept through the whole thing). That night Stacy Case from Fox 17 came by and it was a very emotional interview. My dad got the feeling of what it would be like with the device turned on. They have to let the brain heal for 2 weeks before they can turn in on officially. Dad of course made us all cry. Like I said before there was a game that night. Barry Trotz came by after the game to say hi (we snuck him in). We went home the next day and all slept it feels like forever. People stopped by throughout the next couple of days to drop off food, candy, and even came by to help with walking our dog.
The next surgery was December 13th. This surgery was to implant the battery into his chest and connect it so that the device would actually work. Once again we all packed up and headed to Vanderbilt. Upon arrival we saw the news crews waiting. This was an outpatient procedure so he was in and out within 3 hours. The implanted the device and boy was dad ready to go home when he woke up. It was Aaron and my turn to go back to the PACU and see him and he was not happy. He kept trying to tear off his oxygen and the sheets and said he was fine and ready to go. Aaron was really good and calmed him down (Aaron worked at the Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital). We had to get some fluids in him to be sure it would sit well in his stomach. Once he got the go ahead we got him dress and wheeled in down to the car. I headed to work and everyone else headed home.
The last and final step was on December 20th. They actually turned on the device. My mom, Aaron, Brad, Amanda, and Madalynn were all up early to be at Vanderbilt by 8. We all waited while dad did his interviews and then headed back to the doctors office. 1 news crew from Vanderbilt was in there filming and would then distribute to the other crews. My mom wanted this moment to be private but my dad said no- we are doing this for others. The activation of the device took about an hour- although on TV it seems like 10 sec. There are different programs and markers the doctors have to go through to get it just right. At one point the doctor made my dad not be able to talk or see- it was really scary. Brad and I looked at each other like is this going to work. I started to freak out and Brad kinda got a worried look on his face. In the end Doc looked at us and said he's done. Dr. Konrad, the doctor that actually performed the surgery, was in there to witness it. He said take a walk down the hallway (also keep in mind that he was off his medication again and we went through a difficult night before. He hadn't slept the night before and was exhausted). He took a stroll down the hallway like he had taken his meds. it was amazing. He had this smile on his face like he had his old body back. We were all so excited and thrilled. Then came time to do interviews with each individual news crew. He got really emotional and cried a little (also from the exhaustion). He did a dance down the hallway and off he went. I went back to work. The team was playing in Washington the next day and so I called to update them that everything went great. Brandon asked that we film something to show to the players and their dads (it was the fathers trip- that was also hard too on my dad because it was the first one he didn't get to go on). At the time we didn't know what it was but we knew something was different. This is when we learned that my dad had emotional lapability (excuse the spelling). It's when you cry and laugh at the same time. The device was turned up too high and his emotions were running 500 miles a minute. When I told him the team was to see him it kicked in. He cried and laughed and cried some more. We got through the taping (with a joke, tears, and a dance) and sent it to Washington via Brandon. The team watched it and Brandon said there wasn't a dry eye in the room. The players also sent a video back to my dad which was really sweet. A week or so later he had the device turned back down (which he wasn't happy about) because of this lapability. He then over the next several weeks had to manually turn it up slowly. He was ready to turn it up too fast so my mom had to hide the remote.
The next several months were filled with doctors visits and adjustments and tweeking the device. Within that time we had my grandfathers passing and my dad being inducted into the Portland Winterhawks hall of fame so we flew to Oregon twice in 3 weeks.
This past year was really hard to sit and watch but I am glad that my dad decided to get tested for DBS. He has such a better quality of life because of it and I would encourage anyone thinking about it just go and get tested. There is only a small window for when you are truly a candidate for the surgery. The news casts were so successful that Vanderbilt had to hire 3 additional people just to field calls inquiring about DBS surgery. That is what my dad's mission was and that is what his foundation is about. I love my dad and I am so glad he made such a wise decision.
The 2 months of surgery and months of recovery were really hard on our family and especially my dad. While I describe these surgeries keep in mind that these all used to be done in 1 day but are now done over 4 weeks. Also keep in mind that 3 news crews were following my dad and family around documenting each surgery to raise awareness to others.
He has his first surgery on November 29th. They drilled 4 holes into his head and placed markers in there. This was a prep for the surgery that was to come a week later, the major and most difficult surgery. The next surgery was December 6th- a really tough day. My dad didn't get much sleep the night before because he had to go off his medication. He was in pain and his hands were very rigid. That morning was pretty tough watching my dad try to get ready for the hospital. He couldn't even sit comfortable. My mom and I helped his dress because he wasn't even able to pull a shoe on. We got to the hospital around 7 am and news crew lights were bright. He had given news crews full access to this process but on this day the hospital wanted to respect his privacy so they wouldn't allow them past a certain point to film. We got him checked in and about an hour later they took him back. Then it was a waiting game. We had about 5-6 hours to kill so I headed to the arena to catch up on a couple things (there was a game that night and my accounts were very needy) and then headed back to the hospital. Everyone in the office was shocked to see me there but I would have rather been busy then just sitting and worrying. When I got back to the hospital more people had shown up. Valerie Overmyer, Sissy and Suzanne Weiss, and another lady whom I can't remember her name (her husband had died from Parkinson's. They sat there with us till the doctors came out to give us the okay. Vanderbilt was also great with us. They set us up in this Atrium on the floor my dad would be staying on. It was very peaceful and away from everyone else. Doc Davis, my dads neurologist, came in prob 5 hours after he went in and said everything went great. The thing with this surgery was he had to be awake the whole time to be sure the were in the right spot. He had to talk to them and they videotaped the whole thing. Doc and the nurses said he was a star patient. He was cracking jokes in the operating room and even throwing a ball with Doc. He, my mom and I stayed in the Neurology ICU that night. My mom was emotionally and physically exhausted so I am glad I stayed because my dad in no way wanted nurses to help him. In the middle of the night I woke up to him trying to get out of bed with all these wires still attached to him (mom slept through the whole thing). That night Stacy Case from Fox 17 came by and it was a very emotional interview. My dad got the feeling of what it would be like with the device turned on. They have to let the brain heal for 2 weeks before they can turn in on officially. Dad of course made us all cry. Like I said before there was a game that night. Barry Trotz came by after the game to say hi (we snuck him in). We went home the next day and all slept it feels like forever. People stopped by throughout the next couple of days to drop off food, candy, and even came by to help with walking our dog.
The next surgery was December 13th. This surgery was to implant the battery into his chest and connect it so that the device would actually work. Once again we all packed up and headed to Vanderbilt. Upon arrival we saw the news crews waiting. This was an outpatient procedure so he was in and out within 3 hours. The implanted the device and boy was dad ready to go home when he woke up. It was Aaron and my turn to go back to the PACU and see him and he was not happy. He kept trying to tear off his oxygen and the sheets and said he was fine and ready to go. Aaron was really good and calmed him down (Aaron worked at the Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital). We had to get some fluids in him to be sure it would sit well in his stomach. Once he got the go ahead we got him dress and wheeled in down to the car. I headed to work and everyone else headed home.
The last and final step was on December 20th. They actually turned on the device. My mom, Aaron, Brad, Amanda, and Madalynn were all up early to be at Vanderbilt by 8. We all waited while dad did his interviews and then headed back to the doctors office. 1 news crew from Vanderbilt was in there filming and would then distribute to the other crews. My mom wanted this moment to be private but my dad said no- we are doing this for others. The activation of the device took about an hour- although on TV it seems like 10 sec. There are different programs and markers the doctors have to go through to get it just right. At one point the doctor made my dad not be able to talk or see- it was really scary. Brad and I looked at each other like is this going to work. I started to freak out and Brad kinda got a worried look on his face. In the end Doc looked at us and said he's done. Dr. Konrad, the doctor that actually performed the surgery, was in there to witness it. He said take a walk down the hallway (also keep in mind that he was off his medication again and we went through a difficult night before. He hadn't slept the night before and was exhausted). He took a stroll down the hallway like he had taken his meds. it was amazing. He had this smile on his face like he had his old body back. We were all so excited and thrilled. Then came time to do interviews with each individual news crew. He got really emotional and cried a little (also from the exhaustion). He did a dance down the hallway and off he went. I went back to work. The team was playing in Washington the next day and so I called to update them that everything went great. Brandon asked that we film something to show to the players and their dads (it was the fathers trip- that was also hard too on my dad because it was the first one he didn't get to go on). At the time we didn't know what it was but we knew something was different. This is when we learned that my dad had emotional lapability (excuse the spelling). It's when you cry and laugh at the same time. The device was turned up too high and his emotions were running 500 miles a minute. When I told him the team was to see him it kicked in. He cried and laughed and cried some more. We got through the taping (with a joke, tears, and a dance) and sent it to Washington via Brandon. The team watched it and Brandon said there wasn't a dry eye in the room. The players also sent a video back to my dad which was really sweet. A week or so later he had the device turned back down (which he wasn't happy about) because of this lapability. He then over the next several weeks had to manually turn it up slowly. He was ready to turn it up too fast so my mom had to hide the remote.
The next several months were filled with doctors visits and adjustments and tweeking the device. Within that time we had my grandfathers passing and my dad being inducted into the Portland Winterhawks hall of fame so we flew to Oregon twice in 3 weeks.
This past year was really hard to sit and watch but I am glad that my dad decided to get tested for DBS. He has such a better quality of life because of it and I would encourage anyone thinking about it just go and get tested. There is only a small window for when you are truly a candidate for the surgery. The news casts were so successful that Vanderbilt had to hire 3 additional people just to field calls inquiring about DBS surgery. That is what my dad's mission was and that is what his foundation is about. I love my dad and I am so glad he made such a wise decision.
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